NICOLE- YES!!!!
You have done a good job accurately describing the scarier aspects of
this movement I feel and see but have been afraid to try to describe
in too much depth. It's nuts. It's as if this flat tough scabby layer
had a string attatched to the underside of the middle and when I try
to peel it off, it's like some one responded by pulling the string
and the flat part sinks down, even disappears deep underneath the
skin. Sometimes the string seems to go straight down at 90 degrees
from the skin's surface, but often it goes sideways into the skin at
a lesser angle, And sometimes it seems to slide sideways from the
edge of the lesion, the 'string' attatched to one edge rather than
the middle. It tries to escape!!!! I have seen the flat things
literally slide away under the skin AND RESURFACE through the skin.
Unbroken skin next to the lesions suddenly had this scabby flat thing
COME UP THROUGH. And even if the scabby thing is protruding from the
lesion to the point it is bulging and feels as though I could scrape
it easily off, it will still often sink in if I don't get it like a
bandaid, fast and all at once.
It only EVER heals if I get ALL of this material out AND what ever is
underneath, which varies. Sometimes its a sac, or capsule type thing,
sometimes it's a pocket of abcess and granules or splinters of hard
stuff, often with fiberballs or individual fibers, sometimes it is a
long thin flat 'streamer' or ribbon shaped protrusion made of the
same material as the flat scabby thing on top.
There are almost always worm shaped things in there too. And when it
is gone, it feels empty- like nothing is there anymore- no pain,
irritation, or hard stuff can be felt/from in the sore. It will then
be soft and flat, ooze for a few days, and heal. Sometimes that
plasticky layer is not near the surface or at the surface, it makes
sores with white 'sprouts or beans' (for lack of a better word)
growing through inflamed tissues, and it eventually deepens A Lot,
and then I'll hit something hard. UNDER A CLOSED SCAB, IN THE WOUND,
where it should be soft, is a hard, plastic feeling layer. You can't
treat these without cutting, or nicking, this layer. I cut the
surface of this part just barely with a curved pair of sharp nail
scissors that come to a fine point. Applying baking soda to this cut
usually dissolves a lot of this peice, but it will still slide away
and retract. It scares me because I know that whatever this is has
either A. grown in it's own channels all through the skin, muscles,
organs etc... or it is using the lymph and or blood vessels. My best
advantage for getting these buggers out is to wait fr the scab to
really bulge and then go after it mercilessly with my scissors, which
I use as tweezers, not actually to cut with, except for the tiny nick
I make in the tough under layer. You know, if it were just skin,
these scissors should easily cut through it, but they do not. I
really have to wrestle to make just a tiny, tiny snip. Ok- I did it.
I was trying not to say anything that would make me look like a self
mutilator ar anything, and I really am not at all. This is very
minor, gentle, cleaning of an infected lesion. These things are NOT
me. They are numb. I can not feel them. When they are removed, I can
feel the skin under them and releif that the offending object is gone.
Thank you Nicole, for reaffirming my beleif in my own senses. I know
this is happening to me, but to hear another describe in minute
detail exactly what I experience is the most definitive proof I have
that this IS real. This IS happening. I could not possibly know, nor
you know, what the subtle details could be like for one another. How
could we describe the same thing if we did not have the same thing
occuring in our bodies? It is so nuts that I question myself all the
time, if I really have what everyone else has, if I am not just crazy.
I know that I am not only because of this group.
Dana